It's Perfectly Normal for my Slime to beat up a Dragon, Right?

Ch. 92 - Wanna Take on the Nanjiang Bandit?

New Event: Global Dungeons Daily Releases"Mom, Dad, I'm home."

"You're back?"

Chen Shu's parents happened to be eating dinner.

His father, Chen Ping, stood up and glanced outside the door. "No pursuers, right?"

Chen Shu was speechless. "Dad, what are you thinking? I'm not a fugitive!"

He remembered something and added, "Though there weren't any pursuers, I did run into a mental patient today."

Chen Ping said, "Your bed buddy?"

"..." Chen Shu forced a dry laugh. "Haha..."

"Looks like you're in a good mood." Chen Ping breathed a sigh of relief.

Chen Shu returned to the dining table, filled a large bowl of porridge for himself, and said, "Of course I'm in a good mood when I'm back home."

His mother said, "We thought you'd be upset about Dali."

Chen Shu raised an eyebrow. "Dali? Didn't he get into Capital Spirit Chef University? Why would I be upset?"

Chen Ping sighed. "That's exactly why. You three grew up together, but Fang Si and Zhang Dali are both so excellent while you're such a noob. It's natural to feel a bit unbalanced."

"Sure, we're noobs, but at least we've got a good attitude."

Chen Ping patted his shoulder. "As long as you've got a good attitude, you'll live longer. Whoever laughs last laughs best!"

"Heh... Dad, you're really great at comforting people..." Chen Shu said. "Besides, I'm just building up for a big breakthrough. Once I start working hard, those two will have to rely on me."

Chen Ping said, "Great, good attitude, but your mental state seems to have problems."

"..." Chen Shu simply shut his mouth and focused on eating.

...

The next day, Chen Shu had originally planned to seclude himself for the day to rest and recover,

but early in the morning, his phone rang.

"Unknown number? Marked as fraud by 9,999 people!"

"..." Chen Shu's mouth twitched. You don't even change your number? Dude, you've got some serious guts.

He answered the call. Before he could speak, the other side struck first.

"Old classmate! Man, I've missed you so much!"

"Wait, you don't even know who I am and you're going with 'old classmate'?"

"You don't even recognize my voice? Guess important people forget easily. It's me! Old Zhao!"

Chen Shu's mouth twitched as he asked with a smile, "Old Zhao, do you believe in Old or do you believe in Zhao?"

"..." The other side went silent for a moment, then spoke again. "You haven't changed at all. Still love joking around."

Chen Shu said, "Haha, just messing with you. Of course I couldn't forget you, Old Zhao."

His eyes darted around as he asked, "By the way, what have you been up to lately?"

"Me? I've been working as a fitness instructor recently, but I always feel like I don't have enough money. I want to invest in a business and need to find a partner."

"Give me a break, Old Zhao. I remember you've had epilepsy since childhood, collapsing and convulsing all the time, foaming at the mouth and stuff. How are you supposed to be an instructor? Teaching people how to convulse?"

"..."

Another long silence from the other side.

Chen Shu forcibly held back his laughter, already imagining the expression on the other end.

"Heh... heh... Medical technology has advanced now. I've recovered, haven't I?"

"Oh, you've recovered? Well, congrats, congrats."

"Let's not talk about the past. How about we discuss this investment opportunity?"

Another sly smile crept onto Chen Shu's face. "Wait, that's not right, Old Zhao. Didn't you get drunk in middle school and start dancing in the street, then got hit by a cement truck? Your left leg got amputated back then. How can you be a fitness instructor?"

"..." The voice on the other end became somewhat unnatural. "Old classmate, you must be remembering wrong."

"Right, right, right! Look at my brain. I got it wrong."

"After all these years, you still love forgetting things."

"Yeah, I got it wrong. Now I remember—you got your RIGHT leg amputated back then. Look at my memory."

"Beep beep beep~~~" After a moment of silence, the other side had clearly given up and hung up directly.

"Hello! Hello! Old classmate!"

"Hahaha!" Chen Shu couldn't help but burst out laughing. The scammer on the other end had probably been completely defeated.

Just as he was enjoying himself, another call came in.

"Another unknown number? Are there really this many scammers now?"

Chen Shu answered the phone and immediately said, "What's up, Old Zhao? Did your epilepsy get cured?"

"..." A familiar voice came through. "It's me, Xie Sunan. What the hell are you talking about?"

"Uh... Xie No-Meat... I just had a scammer call me, so I was messing with him."

After saying that, Chen Shu thought of something and added, "You're not a scammer, are you?"

"What do you think?" Xie Sunan's mouth twitched. "Are you free today? I took on a mission. Interested?"

"What mission?"

"Recently, a Nanjiang Grand Thief appeared!"

"Not interested. That's a matter for the police."

"You get fifty thousand yuan!"

"I, Chen Shu, can't stand criminals my whole life. Where are you right now? I'll come find you!"

"..." Xie Sunan was speechless. "Are you changing faces like a Sichuan opera performer?"

"If someone dares to call themselves the Nanjiang Grand Thief, they're obviously trying to take on the Nanjiang Bandit!"

Chen Shu got up, packed his things, grabbed his backpack, and left the apartment complex.

Half an hour later, at the Xiafei Road intersection.

Xie Sunan wore a blue T-shirt and jeans, looking quite young indeed—if you didn't look at his face...

"Old Xie, you stopped selling pork?"

"The pork business hasn't been good lately, so I quit. Besides, it was just a part-time gig anyway."

"Part-time pig butcher—honestly, you're pretty ridiculous." Chen Shu patted his shoulder. "But you've got it good. Last night I actually saw someone working part-time as a mental patient."

"..." Xie Sunan said, "Mine is a legitimate part-time job, okay?"

"Anyway, take a look at the mission intel."

Chen Shu nodded and took the small booklet.

【Mission Name】: Capture the Nanjiang Grand Thief

【Mission Difficulty】: None

【Mission Content】: Recently, a Nanjiang Grand Thief has appeared in Nanjiang City, specifically stealing from wealthy families. His methods are sophisticated, leaving no clues at the scene. The total value of his thefts exceeds several million yuan. Please capture him as soon as possible!

【Mission Reward】: 100,000 yuan

【Mission Challenges】: First: There is no basic information about the Nanjiang Grand Thief—not even their gender can be determined. Second: Their methods are mysterious, avoiding all surveillance. They may be using a contracted spirit's abilities.

【Mission Hints】: First: It can be confirmed that the Nanjiang Grand Thief is working alone, not as part of a gang. Second: Their Beast Tamer level shouldn't be too high. Third: After each crime, they leave four words at the scene: "Rob the Rich, Help the Poor." They may be living in the slums.

"Beast Tamer?"

Chen Shu frowned slightly, his expression turning serious.

"What's wrong?" Xie Sunan asked. Although he was a Beast Tamer, his combat ability was virtually zero, which was why he specifically sought out Chen Shu as muscle.

"If the criminal is a Beast Tamer, that's troublesome. Criminals have cruel personalities and will do anything to achieve their goals, and their contracted spirits are just as vicious. They're not easy to deal with."

"Can't handle it? I've already investigated specific information." Xie Sunan frowned.

Chen Shu laughed. "If others can handle it, I can handle it. If others can't handle it, I can handle it even better!"

"What I mean is..." He paused. "Gotta charge more!"[1]

[1] 得加钱 (Gotta charge more!): This phrase became a popular internet meme from the 2014 wuxia film Brotherhood of Blades (绣春刀). In the movie, assassins use this line when a job becomes more dangerous than expected, demanding higher payment. It's now used humorously whenever a situation becomes more complicated or difficult than anticipated.